2003-09-04 - 4:08 p.m.
Tanya came back from Ontario today. She didn't seem particularly ecstatic to see us. When I first saw her, I gave her a hug and she went to talk to Gabby. Not to me, the one who cried when she left. Not Adri, the one who had brownies at her sleepover. But Gabby, who she barely talks to.
I felt disappointed and saddened. Later, she talked to Paul after art class and before English.
Maybe she misses her small town Ontario. Maybe she wants to bond with white people. I have no idea. I just feel hurt. Adri and I truly missed her. And then we get this? Like Adri said, it was fairly anticlimatic.
I was also hurt in music class. I looked through the brand new score of Lord of the Rings -I could even smell the newness- and I saw the 2nd clarinet part. I was so angry that I didn't have the melody. I had rests all throughout "Boromir's Departure". I was severely angry and hurt. Why me?! I was the one who requested it. I was the one who burned the CD for HL. I was the one who gave him the website.
When the time comes to hand out the parts, I will quit if he doesn't give me 1st. I will quit. I don't care if it's a course. I don't care if band is practically my life. I don't care. I want them to know that I won't stand being shunted aside, while Colin snaps up first simply for being a senior.
And I will try to remember what it was like being in a lower grade when I become a senior. Forget Andria's planned campaign for next year, "More Rights For Seniors". I won't back it one bit. I hate being pushed down because I wasn't a senior, and I'm not going to go down the same path as those damned seniors.
I won't. And she can take that campaign and shove it.
