2004-09-28 - 4:37 p.m.
As I sit with my arms wrapped around my favourite pillow, head buried into the flowery print, smelling vaguely of Body Shop's Oceanus, I wonder to myself.
Why is it I go through this burnout period every year? Some years it happens more frequently.
Colours flash before my eyes, hidden beneath my lids and the print of the pillow. Everytime I tell myself I've never been this close to lonely. Each time feels lonelier than the last. It's so depressing. Haven't had a boyfriend all high school.
Now you're probably snorking and calling me a frivolous little schoolgirl with too much time on her hands. Pile on the homework, you cry.
But honestly? Being single for so long hurts. Being without a crush for so long hurts. You just begin to feel so empty inside and wonder if you'll ever really love anyone. Feel like an empty mask. Cynicism grows in my heart. Soon, you begin to believe there is no such thing as love at first sight. There is no such thing as filling yourself with love. There is no soulmate, or second half.
You sink into oblivion.
